“i knowwwww”

you know you’re caught in the corporate world when you don’t think about how a person feels and just think about how to move up the proverbial ladder. you know you’re still at the bottom when you’re being ordered to do stuff that you don’t want. and you know you’ve hit rock bottom if you’re actually doing that you’ve been told even though it violates every moral, ethical value that you hold to keep your dignity!

we all start at the bottom. we all know how it feels like to be ‘degraded’ into doing work for those in higher positions. even if we do not agree with their methods, something at the back of our mind tells us to do it. the rebel in us would just want to speak out and let them have a piece of our mind. but seamlessly, like lambs, we still do it anyway. i think it’s called ‘mother-hit-me-once-too-many-when-i-was-bad’ syndrome. or could it be the ‘because-i’m-your-dad-and-i-say-so-so-do-it’ epidemia.

i remember in the movie, school of rock, jack black was explaining the history of rock to a bunch of kids. rock was about rebellion… about standing up… against ‘the man’. and ‘the man’ was anyone giving you a hard time. or maybe so i remember. when we were kids, ‘the man’ were our parents. come to think of it, even up to now. guess it’s still caused by the two psychosis that i mentioned above. when we were in school, ‘the man’ was either any of the school personnel or the school bully whose daily workout is beating the crap out of you. then when you get out school… or your parent’s house, you thank god that you have finally grown out of that childish control from ‘the man’. but think again, when you get a job – ‘the man’ lives!

you sigh to yourself. well, when i get up that ladder… i will never be like ‘the man’. i will treat my subordinates as how i want to be treated when i was down there myself. wishful thinking. i think it’s the same sentiment that we tell ourselves when our parents tell us to quit playing with the family computer and insist on finishing our homework – “i will never be like my parents.” but years after that, when we do have our own kids… we’d be telling them to quit playing with playstation 2-thousand and insist on finishing their homework.

so what does happen to a person that turns them into ‘the man’? power corrupts. absolute power corrupts absolutely. could that be it? can a person really be drunk with power and forget their humanity? well, i know people just drunk with alcohol and forget their humanity. and i think alcohol is not even half the potency of power. maybe they should start putting ‘proof’ in the amount of power a person would be holding. at least we’d actually have some rationale behind stupid management decisions that the ‘man’ might make. “well, yeah he had 100 proof of power, so it was likely to have him steer the company to bankruptcy. typical if you had that much power.”



as they say: “ours is not to reason why… ours is to do and die.” so give me a rifle and point where to shoot. hopefully, it’s towards ‘the man’. anyways, me… i promised myself the same thing most of us have told ourselves… i will not be like that when i’m a parent/boss… hopefully, my future kids and/or subordinates will never get to read this article.

light up your life

“got a light?” or “need a light?” these are additional lines that you can add to your repertoire for opening a conversation with a girl that you chance upon a bar… mall… office… just about anywhere. if you have overused the “miss, anong oras na?” line…once too many... then try these lines… someone suggested to me before. but of course, you have to follow through… and actually smoke!

nah, this won’t be about opening lines… nor pick up lines… it’s all about smoking. i was watching discovery channel a few days ago and was mesmerized with the ‘good’ effects of nicotine. the narrator goes “nicotine affects the part of your brain – the reward center. when this is stimulated, you feel good. this is the same part of the brain that is stimulated when you feel – (1) full after a meal, (2) feel relaxed after massage, (3) feel satisfied after having sex”. say that again?! yeah, you heard me right. it’s the same reward center. so am i saying that smoking is the same thing as sex? how can - a stick of rolled paper and bunch of dried up tobacco leaves compare with the great experience of pro-creation (or the act without actually creating). i was out to determine the truth.


experiment one: smoking versus food. i skipped a meal and had cigarettes instead of a buffet of meat and rice. now before some smart mouth says that i actually ATE cigarettes… i smoked instead of eating. ok? after several sticks and a regular helping of water once in while between puffs, i felt full. sure, the cigarette doesn’t taste at all like your favorite steak and gravy but i wasn’t hungry anymore. i was just looking for dessert after that. discovery channel was right!

experiment two: usually, i get so high strung when stuck in traffic. you would be too if you tried driving – rush hour, makati area in the philippines, then you have jeepneys (local public transport) and buses trying to vie position in front of you.. beside you… everywhere! if i had a gauge for my blood pressure or stress level in my car same as the temperature for my engine, i think it would’ve burst a long time ago. so there i was, putting the cigarette in my mouth, lighting up. mind you, i made sure that the stress level that time was high – close to me, putting down my window and showing the finger that disagreed with everything that was causing undue stress. (yeah right, the pinkie). anyways, even before i finished my first stick, i was feeling pretty relaxed. coupled with bob marley saying “everything’s gonna be alright…” in the background, i would be raising two fingers instead of one. take my lane why don’t you. sure, go ahead, don’t mind the scratch that you just made on my bumper trying to get in my lane… i can wait forever in this traffic… wait let me light up another… peace mahn! discovery channel was right!

by the end of the discovery channel’s documentary about smoking, they were now showing the ill effects. saying that it was addictive, causes chemical imbalance in the brain, resulting in emotional balance. eventually showing pictures of lungs inflicted with cancer, emphysema and other medical terms that if they didn’t scare you – be scared that you can’t spell them at all. that’s when i stopped believing that discovery channel was right.
what about the third ‘good’ effect of nicotine you might ask… i was determined to prove that this too was correct. but then again, who would want to substitute the real thing for a stick of cigarette?